Friday, August 19, 2011

A princess without a Ball

As my mother turns 60 tomorrow, I look back on my life and reflect. I was born only 3 days before my mothers birthday. I was a little over 2 weeks late in the back woods of  WV, the doctor gave my mother the option to induce on her birthday or go ahead and start then. My mom said she was so ready for me to be out of her, she chose immediately. The doctor thought I was gonna enter the world backwards. No, I just had fat cheeks (the ones on my face). Great self esteem booster!

As a young child I remember being called my daddy's little princess. I was a little sister, first granddaughter and the name sake of my fathers mother. I was never as smart as my brother, but, I was much cuter and must have been more manipulative, for I got everything I wanted.  I knew I was special. My nanny would show me our Easter baskets before it was Easter. As I grew I started to take after the artistic side of my grandmother and had great patience. I was out shined by my brothers ability in academics, debate, band, and athletics. BUT, I was still cuter!! I was a princess! My mother and my nanny even went out of there way, back alley style, to make sure I had cabbage patch kids in the early 80's.

After that the 'princess' in me kinda went away for a while. We moved from Wake Forest (seminary) NC to Raleigh, NC. I was older and attached to my brothers hip with his friends, probably not by his choice. This continued as we moved back to SC. I was playing more with my brothers toys then my own. His friends all knew me, and I think one even liked me. They knew we were usually a package deal. We started blowing up my barbies using firecrackers with our cousin Allen. I really didn't think of myself as a princess then, I am sure my brother did though. I started to make more of my own friends, a little bit of the girlyness started to return. I even got to go to the Citadel dances!

As time went on my parents divorced and life changed. My father once said to me after that 'you know you have me wrapped around your pinky'. I honestly didn't know that, and surely didn't believe it. I met a great girl through PWP that my dad went to after my mom left. Amy and I decided we were to be sisters! We got our way. When we decided we didn't want our parents married anymore, well, it was a bit harder, but...we got our way. I was 12 when I went to go live with my mom.

My mom and I never had it easy. We shared a room together in a house of a friend of my moms, it was not a place we stayed long. Bad situation & memories. I remember my mom saying we could stay in MD or move out to NV where my Grandma lived. Hell, I was 12...cross country it was. We left with what we had, again, not much.

We moved in with my grandma till my mom could find a job and get us an apartment. We lived in this tiny little whole in the wall town. My mom started doing better and we were able to move to the city. We had the coolest apartment ever. I made the bestest friend/sister, Audrey, and we were the bomb! I think I may have started to feel a bit like a princess again around this time. We had the best 8th grade year and summer!! Then high school. Audrey went to a different school. My friend Jennifer started to let me wear her pretty dresses to our school dances. (Jennifer turned out to be a life saver a few years or so later!) Then, things changed. Again, we were left without even a car to get to the grocery store. We moved into a house that had been converted in to a few apartments. The living room was my bedroom and we shared the bathroom in my moms room. I think I was happy though. Soon, my mom again started to get back on her feet.

We still didn't have a lot. We moved farther out from my friends and I started to make other friends. Good friends, but very different. I distanced myself from my old friends. I started to change. I screwed off the rest of my freshman year and even failed JROTC. Then summer came and went with me spending most of my time with my new, older, friends. I took a hit to the gut as school was about to start. My mom and then step father moved us to AZ.

It was the best and worst move in my life. That is probably were I started to make a turn in my life. My grades went up and my social status too. I learned the lay of the land and was able to return to NV with great knowledge, some of which we won't talk about. My mom was against it, but my step father and I wanted to return to Reno. This was the end of the 1rst semester my sophomore year. My friend Jennifer and her family allowed me to move in with them so I could return to start the semester in my same high school while my parents stayed in AZ to finalize things and find us a place back in Reno. Again, Jennifer really did know how to make you feel like a princess. She had the prettiest clothes and a beautiful heart!

Returning to Reno and to the same high school, it was hard to not slip back into the same zone I was in. I was lucky enough, through some very strange happenings, to make a friend that took me in a very different direction. My parents finally got us a house and I left Jennifers. Turned out we moved closer to my new best friend.

Why am I telling you this? Because this is part 1 of  'A princess without a Ball'. You need a little back ground, not sure if it will help or not when I get to the point, but I just feel you need to know this part.

TO BE CONTINUED...